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So it's come down to this.

Or has it? With all the starts and shudders, backs and forth, I'm still not sure whether the little Shrub has the cojones to actually use those tens of thousands of troops he's sent to Iraq. Then again, my inner cynic has been saying to me, "No matter what happens at the UN, he's already begun the war by mobilizing all those troops. Do you really think he'd send them halfway across the world and then just turn them around?"

Move along. Nothing to see here. Go back to your quiet little lives.

Here's the sad truth about my stance on Iraq, et. al: I just don't know. I feel like there's really no way that I could know. There's too much propaganda floating around. Yes, women and children are starving and dying. Mr. Hussein and his fat family sit all high-and-mighty in their bunkers and squeeze and squeeze the country dry. They threaten the world with weapons of mass destruction.

But for Mr. Shrub to say that about Mr. Hussein is a little like the pot calling the kettle black. Who's the nuclear-weapons daddy on this planet? Who's decided to cut funding for family planning in foreign countries? Who'd rather play golf in Texas than pay serious attention to the problems of this country?

So here's the plain, embarassing truth: I don't know the Just Cause, the Path of Righteousness. And my indecision paralyses me. I honk forthe peace protesters in Coolidge Corner, but I can't bring myself to join them. I feel compassion for the families ripped apart by this war, but I cannot find it in my heart to tie a yellow ribbon around the old oak tree and mindlessly wave my flag.

I'm clear on one thing, though: the United States is not blameless. We were not just sitting around, minding our own business when those crrraaazy religious fanatics decided to hijack some planes and kill thousands of people, incedentally destroying one of the most well-known symbols of capitalism and American power. Most Americans were blissfully ignorant of U.S. policy in the Middle East, just as we remain blissfully ignorant of the bloody coups and oppressive regimes our government has financed and supported around the globe -- in the Congo, in Latin America, and in countless other places. Just as most Americans remain blissfully unaware of the poverty, oppression, and ruin caused by American conglomerates in Puerto Rico, in the Alaskan wilderness, and even right here on the mainland, the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave.

Do you really think that those pitiful drunks and dirty homeless are out there sleeping in the streets and begging quarters because they choose to be? Do you really think a crack addict steals from his mother because he likes it?

I'm not saying that anyone is an innocent victim, incapable of bettering him- or herself? I'm just suggesting that maybe, just maybe, the blame does not fall entirely on one or the other party.

It seems to me that what the world needs is more compassion and less blame.