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We pause our regularly scheduled two-part story to bring you a special tribute to Quick, the mysterious, secretive Woman in My Life.

Quick and I met in Provincetown, Massachusetts. How appropriate, you might think. That must be in the Lesbian Manual you guys all get!

It's true, actually. It's suggested that you first read Section 2.0, Identifying Yourself as a Lesbian, where they list Acceptable Lesbian Hairstyles (mullets, close-cropped hair, and baseball caps over ponytails), Acceptable Lesbian Attire (flannel shirts, shiny shirts & leather pants, WNBA sweatshirts), and Appropriate Lesbian Vehicles (pickup trucks, public transportation, Subaru Forresters). Rainbow flags are, of course, de rigeur regardless of your car, outfit, or hairstyle.

Then you're cleared to move on to Section 2.1, How to Meet Girls. They actually list a number of alternatives, depending on whether you fall into the Old-School Butch/Femme category, the Urban Lesbian Chic category, or the Crunchy/Athletic Lesbian category. Here's the method I decided would work best for me:

1. Seek out closest gay seaside resort.
2. Firmly keep in mind that you are NOT looking to enter a relationship
3. Attend a dance wearing grungy jeans and combat boots.
4. Avoid ugly women who attempt to pick you up with lines you've used on other younger, more attractive women yourself.
5. Ask a woman to dance without seeing her from the front. "For practice in meeting girls."
6. Take a long, moonlit walk on the beach.
7. Agree to meet her for coffee at a ridiculously early hour the next morning.
8. Spend 14 months driving long distances to see one another. Make sure to run up hefty phone bills. Romantic poery is optional.
9. Ensure that household pets are compatible.
10. Rent the U-Haul.

Neither of us drives an Appropriate Lesbian Vehicle, and Quick would not be caught dead in a flannel shirt. I've been known to wear them on occasion, mostly during junior high school when I was still trying to answer the question adolescent boys often ask: What do lesbians do?

I'll tell you what these lesbians do. Quick runs her own business. She loves to dance, to cook, and to go to the beach. I write, I create websites. I love to read good solid fiction (think Barbara Kingsolver, Jeanette Winterson, Ernest Hemingway), as well as science fiction (think Octavia Butler and Marion Zimmer Bradley). We both have high standards in coffee and movies.

And why do I love her? After four years together, it's hard to quantify what I love about her. I love the secret expression on her face that so few get to see. I love the catlike curve of her eyes when she's strategizing about her business, or about the latest improvements we'll make to our home. I love that she wakes up early in the morning and sits to drink coffee and think. I love the fact that we can be silent together.

I love the solidity of her presence next to me. Quick does for me what no other lover has ever done: She doesn't leave. She shows up, day after day, she listens to me and talks to me. Sometimes she cooks and does the dishes. Sometimes I do. Sometimes she is cranky. Sometimes I am. She accepts me for who I am, and I do the same for her.

Happy birthday, sweetheart! Te quiero con todo mi corazon!