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Prosies - constant pain; anti-fantasy
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April 3, 2002 My hands are in constant pain. Even with a split keyboard, I'm in pain. I have been for about two or three weeks now, and each day is a trial. I just realized why it is that my right thumb is so fucked up; it's because I habitually use it to press the space bar key. Plus, I'm big fan of the keypad and the up and down arrows, all of which are on the right side of the keyboard. I'm trying to break the habit of using my right thumb all the time, but that means cutting down my typing speed from about 90 words a second to about 30. I can't stand it. I become one with the keyboard and I don't want to think about what I'm doing. But I'm more terrified about losing the use of my right hand. "I'm afraid I'll have to stop working," I told Quick this morning. "It's my anti-fantasy." "Or maybe it is your fantasy," she said. Maybe it is. Only no work means no income, and no income means none of the nice pretty things I buy each month for myself. No income means no expensive therapy sessions. And Goddess knows I won't get shit for disability. I learned that much at INN.
The Universe works in mysterious ways, though. I have hope that all this is happening for a reason.
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