The word of the day is "bitch-slap."
v.t. To strike with the back of the hand, as a pimp would slap his ho.
Why, you ask, is this the word of the day? Because I have successfully inserted it into the common vocabulary of my friends and coworkers. It's all part of my dastardly plan to acquire world domination through total mind control of my fellow human beings.
For example: I say to my coworker, "Will you have the copy ready for production soon?" This is the third time I've asked her in the span of two hours, and I can see the color rising in her face. So I immediately follow up with a rhetorical question meant to ease tension through humor: "Are you going to bitch-slap me if I ask you that question again?"
To which she responds, "I am just about ready to bitch-slap you, and I am also almost finished with the copy."
I swear that I was a big, sweaty man with a harem in a former life. Why else would I take such pleasure in magazines like Voluptuous, albums like "Pimps, Players and Hustlers of the 70's," and terminology like "bitch-slap."
Quick has been most patient with the latest addition to my vocabulary, although my attempts at mind control do not work on her. Okay, I'm grinning again.
Disclaimer: Characters in this "journal" are fictitious. Any similarity to actual people is purely in your head.
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© 1999 Frances Donovan, upon threat of bad karma. All rights reserved.